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But he always seems to have lots of chicks pecking around him, he isn't the best-looking rooster in the barnyard. Anne and I know a shy guy - her brother.

But he's the three-date strikeout king, they even ask him out, yes, and. They like the challenge of getting him to open up. A relief from the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals out there; also I think it's refreshing. He doesn't say much so women fill in the blanks. I think, the mystery. What's the attraction?

But no romance, you'll have lots of female companionship. You'll bring out the "mother" in them and be relegated to the "friends" category, if you don't step up to the plate. Then they can be a woman! Women want a man to be confident and assertive. But it won't get you what you want in the long run, being shy can work for you at first.

And they expect to be taken care of, they don't know what they want, they aren't spontaneous, they never take initiative, they worry about pleasing her, and avoid doing the things that little boys do with their moms - they ask permission, so keep in mind a little boy you've seen recently.

So make sure you aren't giving the wrong impression, you don't need any of that.

And you can hit it out of the park, eventually you'll see a ball coming over the plate you know is a home run. And the reward is definitely worth it, your odds improve as you practice, it gets easier with time. It's as simple as that. You can't get a home run, if you don't step up to the plate and take a swing. But everyone does, no one likes to strike out. Men that have a lot of bravado are just covering it up. So just hang in there, no one knows what's going on. And it will, and mystery until it works out, confusion, rejection, it's frustration. And I hear the same thing from both sexes, dating and relationships, around emotional intelligence, i coach men and women both. Dating is frustrating to everyone.

Here are some tips:

Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a buddy you wanted to encourage. Keep it positive and affirming. Monitor your self-talk. 1.

Every man's in there taking his knocks just like you are. It's their prowess with women, if it's one thing guys lie about. Monitor the self-talk of other guys. 2.

Aka tolerance for frustration, building character muscle, this is like a workout. You can be worried about rejection and still take a risk. You can be nervous and keep going. Your emotions don't have to stop you in your tracks. 3.

You just need HER. But you need all the women, not all the women will like you. Take pride in who you are and stay centered, otherwise. Get some coaching and take care of it, if there's something you need to work on. Make a list of all you have to offer and believe it. What are you shy about? Start from the inside out. 4.

Like a tennis serve, it's a set of skills, it isn't a mystery. The conversation-starters, the posture, the tone of voice, watch outgoing people and see what specific behaviors they do - the eye contact. Talk to strangers. Being outgoing is something you can try with the person next to you in the grocery line. Practice where it's safe. 5.

Use your gut feelings. Plan something any woman would enjoy and expect her to go along. Don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Take over and be spontaneous. But you must take charge or you're going to be moved into the "just friends" category, that's fine, if she asks you out first. 6.

Assume all is well and carry on, otherwise. Any healthy woman will squawk if she doesn't like something. Just be you and go! This gets annoying with time. Don't try and please her all the time. 7.

Have an opinion and express it. 8.

Set your ipod alarm if need be - it's time for you to talk! Otherwise she'll see you as a doormat and lose interest, but take your share of it, there's nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention. Talk as well as listen. 9.

Go with your gut. She'll let you know when she's ready. It's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Kiss her when you feel like it. 10.

And that's how you build confidence, you will have had a good time, no matter what happens with her. And you can't lose, know your stance/alignment and stance/takeoff so you're positioned right. You're there to enjoy one another and have a good time, you're not there to judge each other's "date" performance. Not actors in a movie, you're two real people. Get down to earth, or your own, whether you're worshiping at her feet. Nobody gets to be on a pedestal. 11.

The only way you can get a hole-in-one is to take that bucket of balls out to the shooting range and hit balls for two hours. Practice. 12.

Only where it really counts - your love life. They'll put you through the drill and pretty soon you'll be scoring like a star quarterback. It's not just for sports any more. So get a coach, you get confidence by training. Insecurity isn't. Your personality's great. And insecurity, shyness is a combination of innate personality.